Think You’re a Match? These 3 Signs Say Otherwise
There are several types of relationships out there, from the picture-perfect couple that seems to have it all together to long-distance lovers across time zones. But let’s be honest, no matter how Instagram-worthy things may look, every relationship comes with its own challenges.Compatibility is one of the biggest factors that determine whether a relationship will stand the test of time. It’s not about liking the same movies or sharing a love for pizza; it’s about whether your values, communication styles, and emotional needs align.
So, before you decide you’ve found your soulmate, it’s worth asking: Are we really compatible?
In this article, we’ll unpack the different types of relationships, go over the stages of a relationship, and highlight three signs you might not be as compatible as you think – plus some practical relationship advice for those tricky moments when love gets complicated.
Types of Relationships
Relationships come with their own rhythm and emotional depth. Understanding the different types of relationships can help you identify where your relationship stands – and whether it’s giving you what you truly need.Romantic Relationships
These are built on love, attraction, and emotional intimacy. They can be casual or committed, long-term or short-term, and include everything from dating to marriage.Long-Distance Relationships
With the rise of technology, long-distance relationships are more common than ever. However, they require trust, strong communication, and emotional maturity to handle physical separation.Situation-ships (Casual)
Halfway between friendship and commitment, situationships can be exciting but confusing. One person often expects more than the other, which can lead to frustration if both aren’t on the same page.Toxic Relationships
Toxic relationships are emotionally draining, often filled with manipulation, control, or disrespect from a narcissistic partner. These partners often leave one feeling anxious, insecure, or undervalued.Platonic Relationships
BetterUp defines platonic relationships as “connections that don’t include romantic or sexual involvement.” However, these kinds of relationships can still thrive on an intimate basis based on closeness, trust, and vulnerability. People might also interpret platonic relationships differently – for example, some see close friendships between colleagues or friends without romantic interest, while others blur the lines slightly, such as in casual dating situations that remain non-romantic or non-sexual.What Does it Mean to Be Compatible?
“Compatibility isn’t something you find, it’s something you build,” explains relationship therapist Catherine Topham Sly. “It certainly helps to have shared values and goals for your life together, but what matters most is how you respond to each other. The couples who thrive are the ones who are able to tune into one another, reach out after conflict, and continue to prioritise their relationship when things get stressful. That’s how you build a feeling of compatibility that lasts.”
The 5 Stages of a Relationship Explained by Experts
Here, we’ve broken down the different stages of relationships and how you can explore them successfully:The Honeymoon Stage (The first six months)
This is the most exciting part of a relationship where you both can’t get enough of one another. Everything feels new, exciting, and effortless. While this phase is super exciting, it’s important to remember a few things: Acknowledge the infatuation through communication and understanding, consider feelings, and talk about expectations.
Exploration Stage (From six months to two years)
Once the fun part fades, you’ll enter the uncertainty phase – this is where you’ll start noticing the reality of your relationship, flaws and all. This phase is just as important as the first, as it helps you foster the foundation and helps you look at things differently.
The Stability Stage (Two years)
This is where things get interesting. Think of it like making changes to your routine to make room for something that wasn’t there before. This stage is all about balance and development as you both take on shared responsibilities and find common ground (compromise).
The commitment Stage (Past the two-year mark)
This stage pretty much solidifies your bond. You both know each other well enough to plan the future together, such as marriage, moving in, or long-term goals.
The Growth Stage
This is the stage where you’ll see your relationship continue or fade. Emotional distance, lack of communication, or differences often begin at this stage. If you’re questioning your relationship in a deeper part of it, it might be time to consider your compatibility.
3 Tell-Tale Signs You’re Not Compatible
Even the most passionate couples can reach a point where differences become too big to ignore. Compatibility isn’t just about chemistry; it’s about how you handle conflict, share goals, and emotionally connect.
Stages of a relationship
The stages of a relationship are few and far between.Here are three major red flags that you should be mindful of (especially if you’re with someone new).1. Your Core Values Aren’t Synchronised
This is one of many dealbreakers in any type of relationship. Core values are your beliefs about life, love, and what truly matters – things like family, religion, honesty, or ambition. When your values clash, tension is inevitable.Let’s say you want marriage and kids, but your partner doesn’t believe in marriage. No matter how much you love one another, that barrier will eventually catch up with you.
Relationship advice: Have honest conversations about your beliefs and long-term expectations. It’s better to know what you both want now than to ignore it until it’s too late.
2. Poor Communication Style
Communication can make or break your relationship. If one partner is expressive while the other shuts down, especially during conflict, it creates resentment later on.- Signs of poor communication include:
- Feeling misunderstood or dismissed.
- Unresolved arguments or finger-pointing begins.
- Avoiding difficult conversations altogether.
3. Emotionally Distant or Out of Sync
Compatibility isn’t just intellectual or physical, it’s emotional too. Emotional incompatibility shows up when your needs for affection, reassurance, or closeness don’t align. When emotional needs aren’t met, people start to withdraw or seek fulfilment elsewhere.If you crave daily check-ins and quality time, but your partner prefers space and minimal communication. Over time, that gap can create loneliness, insecurity, or resentment.
Relationship advice:
- Identify your “love languages” (like quality time, words of affirmation, or physical touch).
- Talk openly about what makes you feel loved and supported.
- If your emotional rhythms never sync, even after honest effort, it may be time to go your separate ways.
- You could suggest a relationship coach or sex therapist if you both are willing to work on accepting the differences.
Relationship advice from the experts
Experts offer relationship advice for couples who notice the three signs. If you're one of them, here's what you should do:What to Do if You’re Not Compatible
Realising you’re not compatible doesn’t mean your relationship was a failure – it means you’ve grown enough to recognise what’s not working. Here’s how to move forward:- Accept it and move forward: You can’t force a connection where it doesn’t exist.
- Have a respectful discussion: Avoid the blame game – focus on your feelings and what you’ve learned.
- End things with gratitude: Every relationship teaches you something valuable about yourself.
- Use the time to heal: Don’t rush into another relationship until you’ve understood what went wrong and what you want next.
Is there "the perfect couple?"
The perfect couple doesn't exist. Every couple is unique, but the truth is universal — love alone isn’t enough to make things last. Understanding the types of relationships, recognising the stages of a relationship, and paying attention to the signs of incompatibility can save you years of confusion and heartache.If you’ve noticed the red flags mentioned above — mismatched values, poor communication, or emotional disconnect — it might be time to rethink your definition of the perfect couple.
Healthy love is built on trust, respect, and genuine compatibility. Whether you’re dating casually, in a long-distance relationship, or navigating a long-term commitment, remember: the right partner doesn’t just make you feel loved — they make you feel understood.
