10 Things Everyone Gets Wrong About Sex Drive myths
Let’s talk libido – aka your sex drive, desire, or that mysterious spark that creates excitement. The good news is that there is no “right” amount of desire. Some people are fired up daily, others once in a blue moon, and both are reasonable.
As Justin R. Garcia, executive director from the Kinsley Institute, puts it, “Desire for sex is based on a variety of factors, including how we feel mentally and physically, the setting, the stimuli, the person we are with. Sexual desire ebbs and flows in response to situations.”
Libido isn’t linear. It’s more like a ride with dips, loops, and the unexpected. However, analogy aside, myths about sex can make it sound confusing.
From the female sex drive to sex drive in men, we’ve decided to look at the truth behind each myth.
Sex Drive myths Busted
Information in today’s digital age can be overwhelming, especially if you’re already misinformation doesn’t have to get in the way of your sex life. A satisfying, healthy sex life is well within reach. It starts with understanding your body, communicating with your partner, and adjusting expectations that were getting in the way of intimacy.
Myth 1: Men have a higher libido than women
Gender doesn’t dictate desire. Research shows that women and men can experience sexual arousal, motivation, and desire similarly. Hormonal changes, pregnancy, menopause, or illness might shift libido, but women aren’t inherently “less interested. “Any given woman may report a much higher or lower baseline interest in sex than any given man,” says Garcia. Forgo the comparisons and focus on what makes your body tick.
Myth 2: Oysters are magical ‘aphrodisiacs’
Much like the movies, aphrodisiacs like oysters, chocolate and strawberries have had their moments, but science says their libido-boosting powers are more hype than proof. However, that doesn’t mean a couple can’t get aroused by these foods, it just means that the experience with these foods is more about enjoyment – which adds to the power of arousal. So, why not plan the perfect aphrodisiac date night?
Myth 3: Good or bad, your libido is eternal
Not really. Your libido isn’t set in stone like a chronic condition you’ve inherited from birth. Factors like exercise, stress-relief practices, healthy diet, and quality sleep can naturally nurture a stronger drive – small tweaks to your lifestyle makes a difference.
Myth 4: Chronic conditions or disability spells trouble
It may seem like a dead end for those who deal with medical conditions or disability, but it’s not. It’s not true. Some might have issues with sexual function, but pleasure comes in multiple forms and doesn’t always need penetration.
Garcia concludes, “Some people experience their sexual pleasure differently than others, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily have more or less interest in sexual activity.”
Myth 5: Men have a naturally "high" sex drive
The key word here when compared to myth #1 is “naturally.”
In a realistic world, it’s not always perfect for the guys. We’ve spoken about libido boosters for men, so we have an idea of what goes on behind the erection. The good news is that it’s not always doom and gloom for the gents - it’s about breaking the cycle.
The real cause of low sex drive in men? The same as it is for women. Consider lifestyle factors, poor diet, lack of sleep, medication, etc. We’re all human and shit does happen.
Myth 6: Age kills libido
While it’s true that desire shifts over time, there’s other things that influence it too: stress, mental health, lifestyle habits like drinking or smoking, relationship issues, and even fear of consequences (pregnancy, STIs, etc.) Age is not the be-all and end-all that most assume determines high or low arousal.
Myth 7: Regular or constant sex keeps desire active
For the hide and seekers (especially the hiders), you don’t have to put out every single time. Experts say that “frequent sex is not necessary in order to maintain a healthy drive.” Your arousal can fluctuate even after long breaks. Libido doesn’t run on a strict schedule, it’s flexible, personal, and unpredictable (in a good way).
Myth 8: Porn doesn’t influence sex drive
While porn does play a role in stimulating arousal, it’s not bad until it is. It’s about balance without addictive behaviour. Unrealistic expectations from pornography can also affect intimacy, balance is key.
For those who want something a little extra daring, couples ACTUALLY do benefit from watching porn together.
Myth 9: Little arousal means no pleasure
This is false. Even if your libido took a dip and is slightly lower than your partner’s, you can still experience pleasure. Some experience something like responsive desire, which is the excitement that comes once intimacy begins. As one expert puts it, “Sex is satisfying. Low desire just means you want less of it.”
Myth 10: Low libido = something must be wrong
Variation is normal, so don’t fret. Everyone’s arousal goes up and down and having a lower sex drive does not mean yours needs fixing. If it’s causing stress or affecting your relationship, try talking to a medical professional or sex therapist.
How to Boost Sex Drive
Libido boosters, also known as sex boosters, are tools and techniques designed to improve sexual desire, performance, and overall satisfaction. They come in many forms, including:
- Natural supplements
- Sex toys
- Lifestyle adjustments
- Psychological techniques
- Sex therapy
These enhancers can help by:
- Naturally boost libido for both men and women
- Enhancing sensitivity and pleasure
- Supporting stronger erections or improving vaginal lubrication.
- Building confidence and emotional connection
They’re designed for both men and women, so you can both feel as good as the intimate experience.
What to Keep in Mind
You can’t compete when it comes to your sexual wants and needs. It’s guided by your body, mind, lifestyle, and most importantly, your relationships. Myths and outdated norms only make it harder to enjoy it at its fullest.
