If there’s one feeling stronger than your typical adrenaline rush, it’s the gut-sinking knot in one’s stomach when something feels off. Maybe not even just off a feeling, but an absolute given. 

Red flags come in different forms, from incredibly subtle and secret to obvious dead giveaways. You’d think being unfaithful in 2026 would have taken a back seat as part of the 2000s pop culture, but no. The issue isn’t just physical cheating; there’s emotional and psychological cheating too. In a world where people can meet people online in minutes, it’s scary enough, but now put that together with existing issues, and you’ve got a recipe for a new Netflix series. 

Here’s what experts and some Reddit users from Buzzfeed had to say about it. 

Is Your Partner Secretly Cheating? Here’s What Therapists Say 

Couples Therapist and author, Samantha Burns, says that cheating isn’t always “black and white.” Cheating can be both physical and emotional, an end to covert or overt boundaries.” During such a time, partners will do everything they can to stay low and not arouse suspicion, appearing normal throughout. Although someone always makes a mistake or slips up.

Society as a whole has been conditioned to believe in a behaviour or pattern based on pre-existing terms and systems, so when it comes to cheating, one psychologist says that “self-awareness of personal biases” is pretty important to a relationship. 

Top 10 Signs That Hint Your Partner Could Be Cheating

Let’s break some of these signs down, because what might appear abnormal to one person might be completely normal to others. Based on the list below, we aim for stronger relationships in the years to come, regardless of the intention. 

Have extra eyes out for these 10 signs: 

1. They’re suddenly unreachable or distant

This one may seem pretty obvious, but if you’re dating someone who is genuinely a self-reserved or introverted person, you might not think much of it. 

For example, whether there have been some changes to your partner’s work schedule or they struggle to reach them throughout the day, and it’s short-term, it shouldn’t be a cause for concern. However, if you notice a sudden, long-term change in your partner’s routine, you should definitely look into it.

“Cheaters need privacy and blocks of uninterrupted time. Someone engaged in an ongoing affair must be periodically unreachable.” Says Psychologist Paul Coleman, Psy.D. 

2. There’s a noticeable increase or decrease in sex drive

Low libido (reduced sex drive) can sometimes be the biggest tell-tale, especially if you know your partner’s moods well enough. If your relationship goes sexless, then it’s time to ask questions.

It’s fairly common for cheating partners to lose interest in the frequency of sex, given that they might be getting it elsewhere, as Coleman puts it. Some may even put more effort into increasing sex at home to rid themselves of guilt or to cover their tracks. 

If you feel you’re stuck in a rut or routine, experts have suggested watching porn as a couple to help change things up in the bedroom.

3. Quietly putting effort into their appearance 

This habit feels like a classic cheater’s trope that we’ve learned from the movies, and for good reason. This type of habit depends on reason and timing; it’s all about timing: randomly changing things up versus being open about a new health journey. 

Think about the reasons behind all the latest spending on clothes and cologne, or on gym memberships, which were never discussed before. It’s normal to ask the person, “Why now?” but if their answer doesn’t align or makes much sense, raise a red flag. 

4. Their phone habits change 

Changes in phone habits can vary from super subtle to really damning. 

Red flags include asking questions like: “Do they suddenly have more passwords or passkey features activated?” “Do they keep their phones on their person at all times, even though they used to be nonchalant about it?” 

“In committed partnerships, it’s not uncommon to know your partner’s password or be able to pick up their phone to look something up on the internet. However, if your partner seems obsessive or gets upset when you ask to use it or snatch it away, be sure to keep note of this,” one couple’s therapist explains. 

For all we know, it could just be a surprise, but if the behaviour continues long enough, then you may have reason to worry. 

5. They become emotionally distant 

If you notice a sudden shift in how your partner approaches your feelings and opinions, it may be worth speaking with them about it, as emotional availability is key to any healthy relationship. 

Pay attention to their love language. If they’ve stopped showing affection the way they used to or suddenly stop romantically trying with you, don’t let it continue if you’re unhappy. 

6. He/she gets defensive easily

Getting defensive can be a sign of guilt or avoiding the truth. People who don’t have anything to hide will listen to concerns, validate the other person’s feelings, be empathetic, and may even offer solutions to a problem. 

On the other end of the spectrum, a guilt-ridden partner will immediately start gaslighting you or pointing fingers to divert the issue away from them.  

7. Your partner randomly shows materialistic “affection” 

If their spending habits have changed, so have their feelings.

If you’re receiving these nice gifts time and again, it’s time to reflect on the rhyme and reason. Unless your partner has scored a bonus at work or saved up for a special occasion, nothing quite says, “Hey, I’m cheating on you”, like a ton of guilt-ridden flowers or small gifts, more often than they’ve ever done.

8. The cheater blames or accuses you of “cheating”

The irony of acting so suspiciously and secretly is that it deflects dishonesty and guilt onto the other person. Unfortunately, some therapists have confirmed that it’s a typical habit among cheaters. By getting defensive and passing off the behaviour to you, they can use any response you may have to get away with certain things and even leverage your emotions and doubts to increase their bad behaviour. 

9. Their sleep schedule changed, or they’re being super weird about yours

Most couples have predictable sleep routines, and if they experience some changes, it’s easy to pick up on when the disruption isn’t so drastic.  Therapists say that if a partner’s excuse for working late is inconsistent or their absence goes beyond a reasonable explanation, they could very well be hiding something.

On the other hand, it may be worth checking whether your partner is constantly asking where you are, especially if they never used to. 

10.  You have a strong gut feeling

Your intuition is normally the strongest way to go if you’re ever doubtful. It literally means you’ve picked up on the red flags subconsciously but need something a little more tangible to prove we’re right or wrong. 

Think of your gut as the survival drive to life, especially in relationships. It’s like the early warning bell for your body, and in most cases, the gut knows more than we do. As they say, “listen to your gut” because there’s a good reason why you’re feeling this way. 

Final Thoughts

If you’ve found your suspicions to be true, you’ll have to decide where to go with your relationship. Is there a way to repair what’s left? 

Some couples will continue working on their intimacy, while others will end up leaving. There’s no shame in either decision. But, before you do, look into couples therapy if you feel you can make sense of each other’s feelings, not just for the relationship but even for you as an individual. 

The stages of recovery for your relationship depend on the kind of affair and what you’re up against. Many experts say a form of therapy can help you navigate feelings of distrust thanks to communication and transparency. However, this is not always the case for some couples. 

It also means that there would be work ahead for both of you. The decision to leave would come down to whether you accept or reject this part of your relationship.