A lot of people know by now that you never sleep with someone you’ve just met, unless it’s a drunken, forgettable one-night stand that will continue to haunt you for years to come. No. There’s some leniency as we explore the world of sexual health and sexuality, while debunking myths and tackling stigmas – all within a varying degree of reason.

But how are you supposed to know when it’s the right time? When it comes to the sex timeline, there’s nothing universal or “one-size-fits-all” about it. You’ll soon learn that choices only become harder when they involve too many opinions.

You might be someone who really doesn’t care but secretly wants to know what the “rule of thumb” is when it comes to intercourse in a brand-new relationship. Some folks have broken the ice on the topic, as well as references to pop culture, which can help underline the actual reason behind sex timelines.

How Long Should You Wait to Have Sex?

Rumour has it that you’ve heard about the third-date rule. A rule that might sound familiar from earlier episodes of Sex and the City. There’s always that one conservative friend who offers sound advice to the protagonist, like keeping it in their pants if they’re serious about nabbing a relationship, though this differs completely between men and women (unfortunately).

Someone might speculate that sex on the third date may seem like a doable timeline, while others suggest waiting slightly longer (excuse the pun), but is it really? Life doesn’t quite work like a 90s sitcom, especially when it comes to having sex in your 30s.

To be honest, there really isn’t a magic number behind dating. You’ll know when you know, both of you.

Dating and Sex in the Modern Day

What really constitutes a date? Is it a night out for dinner and movies? Is it a meet-and-greet with a group of friends or making supper at home? The definition is unclear here.

Putting a timeline on your sex life really is a subjective matter.

Studies have shown that over 47% of unmarried couples wait a few weeks before having sex in a new relationship, while 35.5% have sex after the first date or within the first few weeks.

One study was linked to waiting to introduce sexual interest to show positive outcomes in a relationship, which included improved satisfaction, increased stability, and better communication.

It’s worth noting that sex is only rewarding and successful when you’re both on the same page about it, regardless of how long you’ve been dating.

Should You Have Sex on the First Date?

Thanks to public forums like Reddit threads, here’s what women have to say about waiting to have sex with someone in a relationship.

“I prefer to test drive a car before I buy it.” And “There’s no specific amount of time. I accept events as they happen.” While one user said that they’d wait until they’ve established a committed relationship.

So, we know it depends on who you’re engaged with and who you are as a person.

Some experts say that it can pave a way to emotional closeness: “Getting the physical intimacy out of the way early opens the door to more emotional intimacy, in my opinion.” Says relationships writer, Maria Del Russo.

However, there’s a lot to consider when it comes to sex this early on. Think of their STI status, and if you’re willing to risk exposure if you’re both not honest up front.

Knowing When to Have Sex in a Relationship

Knowing when to have sex in an early relationship is when both you and your partner are on the same page about it. It’s as easy as that; you both must feel good about it.

If you’re still unsure, there’s no harm in asking your partner, but be sure to respect what they have to say.

Here are some common signs that some people know they’re ready for sex:

Feeling safe and comfortable with one another.
Making decisions without being under the influence.
Easy communication about boundaries.
It comes naturally and effortlessly.

Key Takeaway

Whether you’re in a casual, non-committed relationship or searching for a long-term romantic one, it’s worth considering when you’re ready to have sex without the negative implications for your relationship.

If you and your partner both feel the chemistry and share a common interest in moving forward, then why hold back?

Consider these points:

The total number of dates before sex looks different between couples. What seems too soon for someone may not be for another.
Consent and open discussions are essential. Having clear boundaries is a good sign that tells you where you both are in the relationship.
Go with the flow and base it on how you feel; don’t stress about timelines.

Consider introducing sex toys for couples to enhance oral experiences before getting into intercourse. You’ll find Luvland’s popular adult toys for couples designed for all experience levels, so it might be worth a shot to talk about with your partner.

If you’re a couple who has moved past this awkward phase and are now curious about how long sex should last, we’ve got you covered.